Orthodox Truth

Friday of the Fourteenth Week of Luke

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In today’s reading from the Holy Gospel, the Lord teaches the disciples that only grace can overcome our passions and sins: 

The Lord said, How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God! And the disciples were astonished at his words. But Jesus answereth again, and saith unto them, Children, how hard is it for them that trust in riches to enter into the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. And they were astonished out of measure, saying among themselves, Who then can be saved? And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible. Then Peter began to say unto him, Lo, we have left all, and have followed thee. And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel’s, But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life. But many that are first shall be last; and the last first.  And they were in the way going up to Jerusalem; and Jesus went before them: and they were amazed; and as they followed, they were afraid. –  Mark 10: 23-32

St. Theophan the Recluse reminds us that Our Lord’s solution for the problem of avarice is the solution to all of our problems: the influence of grace on the heart.   

Hearing the word of the Lord about the difficulty that the rich have in entering the Kingdom of God, the disciples thought, “Who then can be saved?”  In reply, the Lord said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.”  It impossible to renounce avarice without the influence of grace on the heart; it is impossible to cope with all the other predilections, with all the sin living in us and all of its fruits without God’s grace. God’s grace is given, according to faith in the Lord, in the Mysteries of the Holy Church. Hold tightly to the Holy Church of God and to all of its institutions, and the power of God, which helps to bring about every good, will always abide with you. But at the same time, always remember that these illuminating and life-giving institutions are a means and not the goal; that is why you should go through them only in order, through their influence, to enliven and nourish the grace-filled powers hidden in you, and then take up your work as a strong man, ready for every good deed. If you keep what you have received to yourself and not give it an outlet through good deeds, you will not be right; just like one is not right who shuns everything belonging to the Church. Incorrect zealots of piety make the very structure of a pious life subject to criticism; but this does not take the significance away from this structure, and does not justify philosophizers, who shun it only on these grounds. – Thoughts for Each Day of the Year, pp. 287 – 288 

As we approach the Great Feasts of the Nativity and Theophany, by which the Church glorifies the Incarnation of God the Word for our salvation, it is fitting to remember that the Church is the Mystical Body of Christ in the world and the unfailing source of the grace that alone overcomes our passions and sins.  We must cling to Her with all our hearts if we wish to be saved.  

The main point St. Theophan is making in the passage we have quoted is that though the institutions of the Church are necessaryfor our salvation, which is why the saints have guarded them so fiercely in every generation, they are not an end in themselves.   When we make them an end in themselves, we imitate three parties within the Jewish nation of Our Lord’s time: we become either Sadducees, Pharisees, or political Zealots (like the Jews who revolted against the Romans):  Sadducees worship the power structure (papism), Pharisees worship the outward manifestations of piety in individuals (elderism), and political Zealots identify the Church’s interests completely with those of this or that national cause or political structure (ethno-idolatry).    There are fierce partisans in all three of these camps today, and they do, indeed, give piety a bad name;  they provide a handle for the self-righteous hypocrites of anti-Christianity to denounce the Church Herself.  All three groups start out with a fundamentally sound insight:   The papists (i.e., the patrarichate-or-jurisdiction worshippers) start out with the correct insight that the Church is indeed a visible institution with a God-established authority structure that normally should be revered and obeyed; the elder-worshippers start out with the correct insight that the holiness of the saints is a guarantee of their trustworthiness;  the ethno-idolaters start out with the correct insight that God is not a globalist – He purposely divided man into distinct races and nations, and it is a sin to eradicate these distinctions by indiscriminately mixing with strangers and prioritizing the stranger over one’s own.  But all three groups go off the rails by what Richard Weaver so aptly labeled “fragmentation and obsession”:  Each takes his particular insight as The One Thing Needed, obsesses on this fragment of reality,  and makes an ideology out of it.   Some truly confused people manifest all three delusions at the same time.  

The One Thing actually Needed is, of course, revealed by the Lord Jesus Christ Himself in His instruction to Martha in the Gospel we read at the feasts of the Most Pure Mother of God:  “…Mary hath chosen that good part, and it shall not be taken away from her.”  The purpose of all of God’s economy, and therefore the purpose of all the Church’s divinely established structures, activities, and attributes, is the salvation of the soul enacted through the acquisition of purity of heart, enabled by grace.   When all is directed towards this, all goes well – not well, perhaps, in earthly terms, but well for eternity.  

In another place, St. Theophan links the reception of the Holy Mysteries directly to acquisition of prayer of the mind in the heart, which is the direct path to salvation:  

…This prayer is formed in the heart by the grace of the Holy Spirit.  He who turns to God and is sanctified by the sacraments, immediately receives feeling toward God within himself, which from this moment begins to lay the foundation in his heart for the ascent on high.  Provided he does not stifle it by something unworthy, this feeling will be kindled into flame, by time, perseverance, and labor…Because all [who receive the Holy Mysteries] have grace, only one thing is necessary: to give this grace free scope to act.  Grace receives free scope in so far as the ego is crushed and the passions uprooted.  The more our heart is purified the more lively becomes our feeling towards God.  And when the heart is fully purified, then this feeling of warmth towards God takes fire…Grace builds up everything, because grace is always present in the faithful.  Those who commit themselves irrevocably to grace, will pass under its guidance, and it shapes and forms them in a way known only to itself.  – quoted in The Art of Prayer, pp. 59 – 60.  

The institutional means of grace, therefore – the true doctrine and true way of life taught by the true Church,  and the true Holy Mysteries administered by the hierarchy of the true Church – exist to bring about the union of mind and heart in the soul, leading ultimately to a life totally under grace characterized by absolute purity of heart.   All of the titanic struggles against heresy and schism of all ages ultimately were – and are – fought to preserve the outward means to achieve this inward result.    If we always keep this in mind, and abide in humility, the Lord will grant us the graces of discernment and perseverance, in order that we may avoid the shipwreck of the soul and abide in the Ark of salvation. 

Wednesday of the Fourteenth Week of Luke

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Today’s Gospel reading for the daily cycle is Mark 10: 11 – 16 

The Lord said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.  Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein.  And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.

Those who deny the reality of the Ancestral Sin will use Our Lord’s words about little children in today’s passage to justify their false opinion that human beings are born pure and sinless:  sin only comes about later, as someone is tempted by things around him.   St. Theophan the Recluse, in his commentary for today, takes care to warn us that the inherited sin of our First Parents is real:  

 With what love the Lord treated children! Who doesn’t treat them with love? The longer one lives, the more one loves children. In them is seen freshness of life, cleanness and purity of disposition, which cannot but be loved. Looking at the innocence of childhood, some suppose that there is no ancestral sin, that each person falls himself when he comes of age and meets with immoral urges, which, it seems to him, he does not have the strength to overcome. Everyone falls himself, yet the ancestral sin nevertheless is present. Apostle Paul sees in us the law of sin, warring against the law of the mind. This law, like a seed, at first is as if not visible, but then is revealed and entices. – Thoughts for Each Day of the Year, pp. 285 – 286 

   A sober and realistic parent who has reared a child knows that children are selfish and need consistent contradiction of their self-will in order not to become monsters of egotism.  A contemporary secular writer on childrearing whom an Orthodox priest can recommend confidently, John Rosemond,  gives two basic principles of effective parenting, that a parent must believe in and act on without hesitation:  1.  Children are bad, and 2. You are the parent, and therefore you are in charge:  yes, they do have to do what you say, “…because I said so.”   The permissive parenting philosophy that invaded American thinking in the 1950s and produced the American Baby Boomers – the most selfish generation in history – taught the opposite:  1. People are born naturally good, and 2.  Parents should be slaves to their children.    In other words, original sin doesn’t exist, and the hierarchy established by God should be ignored.   We are now living with the results of such a teaching becoming mainstream thought.

   What, then, does the Lord’s command to imitate the little children mean, if they too are sinful?   What are the “freshness of life” and “purity of disposition” that St. Theophan is referring to when he confirms the teaching of Christ which we have heard today?    

    The freshness of life is the child’s innocence.  Yes, he is born with the tendency to sin inherited from our First Parents, but he is innocent of the evil in the world; he knows nothing about it.   It is our solemn duty, under pain of eternal hell (remember the millstone?) to keep them innocent, and to expose them to the existence of certain kinds of evil gradually, in stages, and only when they are old enough and strong enough at each stage to know of the particular evil without being destroyed by this knowledge – and, yes, the mere knowledge of evil can destroy the soul not prepared for this knowledge. Remember the Garden of Eden.   

    The purity of disposition is the child’s lack of guile and desire to please.   Yes, he has passions, but they are all on the surface, and they are easily corrected if the parent exhibits firmness, consistency, and love.  The child desires to please his father and mother; he craves not only their affection but also their esteem.  This is human nature.    Even the child’s sneakiness and lies are manifest and obvious, on the surface; he has not learned how to be an effective hypocrite.    

   We adults, who have acquired a thousand habits of hypocrisy, must return to this childlike state of mind in regard to our sins, if, as Our Lord states today, we hope to enter the Kingdom of God.   If we always call a sin a sin, don’t justify it, don’t hide it, and always admit it, we can be healed.   If we strive for constant prayer and attentiveness, and ask the Holy Spirit to keep revealing the secrets of our hearts to us, we will grow in awareness daily of the successive layers of delusion that hide in the heart, and we can begin to repent.  A truly Christian man is not someone who believes that he has arrived at a point at which he has nothing to hide; rather he is someone who has received the grace of learning daily about the evil things hiding in him of which he was previously little aware,  and he cannot wait to reveal them to his spiritual father in order to be delivered from them.    A saint, on his deathbed, knows that he has only begun to repent. 

   May Our Merciful Lord, Who became a little child for our sake, restore to us once again the childlike purity of disposition which we have lost, to hate our sins and to desire to please Him alone, Who alone is worthy of all our love. 

Friday of the Thirteenth Week of Luke

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Today’s Gospel reading for the daily cycle is Mark 9:33-41. 

At that time, Jesus came to Capernaum: and being in the house he asked them, What was it that ye disputed among yourselves by the way? But they held their peace: for by the way they had disputed among themselves, who should be the greatest. And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all. And he took a child, and set him in the midst of them: and when he had taken him in his arms, he said unto them, Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth not me, but him that sent me. And John answered him, saying, Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name, and he followeth not us: and we forbad him, because he followeth not us. But Jesus said, Forbid him not: for there is no man which shall do a miracle in my name, that can lightly speak evil of me. For he that is not against us is on our part. For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward.

The commentary of St. Theophan the Recluse on this teaching of the Lord, that we should be humble and childlike, provides good advice for our current situation: 

The Savior sets forth a child as a model of faith and life. Simplicity of faith gives birth to simplicity of life. From both of these comes an exemplary moral system. If you let philosophizing in, it will produce disorder within, and under the appearance of a better arrangement of things, it will throw one’s entire life into disorder. Philosophizing alway cries, ‘This is not right; that’s not right. Let me arrange everything in a new way; the old is worthless, boring.’ But it has never yet, in any place, arranged anything good; it only throws things into confusion. The mind should obey what is commanded by the Lord. True, the mind is called ‘the king in the head’; however, this king is not given legislative power, only executive power. As soon as it starts making laws, it piles up who-knows-what. Moral, religious, worldly, and political orders are thrown into confusion, and everything turns upside down. It is a great misfortune for society when its mind is given freedom to soar, with not restraint by divine Truth! This is God’s wrath [i.e., it brings upon us God’s wrath]. About this it is said, ‘Hide thyself for a little season, until the anger of the Lord hath passed away (Esaias 26:20).’ During this apex of intellectual willfulness it is best to seek shelter in simplicity of faith. Just as during a storm it is better to sit at home and not step out in arrogance to fight with it, so during a time of stormy trust in one’s own thoughts it is better not to enter into battle with it, or to seize the weapons of philosophizing in order to resist it. Simplicity of faith is stronger than philosophizing; clothe yourself in it, as in armor, and you will keep your balance. – Thoughts for Each Day of the Year, pp. 281-282

Here the saint addresses two arenas of conflict, society and the believer’s inner life. They mirror each other. Just as, when society leaves off trusting in God’s Law and makes new theories, it throws itself into chaos, so also, when the Orthodox believer leaves the narrow path of the Bible and the Fathers, and tries to “figure everything out” with his “brain,” he becomes confused and throws his mind, and therefore his life, into chaos. We learned a long time ago that Holy Tradition does not violate our reason. That should be enough to satisfy us. Nowadays we just need to live and not keep re-inventing the wheel.

Mainstream life today is an insane asylum, and today most Orthodox people mostly act like most everyone else, and because this entails bad habits of mind and action, they are exhausted like everyone else, leading fragmented and distracted lives that do not make sense. It is no wonder that myriads of strange cults – both pseudo-Christian and anti-Christian – now spread like cancer in formerly Christian societies, for, having rejected the Truth, people are desperate for someone to tell them what to do, desperate for something simple – no matter how wrong – to hold onto. In the name of freedom, they have renounced obedience to the lovely simplicity of the Gospel that elevates the mind and frees the will for the good, that governs everything in our inner and outer lives with harmonious order and happiness. So now, terrified by the chaos they have created, they run to enslave themselves to demonic revelations that darken the mind and paralyze the will. Orthodox people are not immune.

The simple answer that St. Theophan offers is to “hide a little while,” as the Prophet Esaias cries to us daily in the Fifth Ode of Matins. Let us enclose our minds, with a firm act of will, in the words of Holy Scripture, daily prayer, and the Offices of the Church. First, the emotions are calmed. Then the mind becomes clear. Finally, the mind and heart unite in a whole vision of reality that makes complete sense, though much necessarily remains in mystery, with which we are content. This is a firm basis for daily life.

Saturday of the Twelfth Week of St. Luke

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Today’s Gospel reading for the daily cycle is Luke 13: 18-29.

The Lord said this parable: Then said he, Unto what is the kingdom of God like? and whereunto shall I resemble it? It is like a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and cast into his garden; and it grew, and waxed a great tree; and the fowls of the air lodged in the branches of it. And again he said, Whereunto shall I liken the kingdom of God? It is like leaven, which a woman took and hid in three measures of meal, till the whole was leavened. And he went through the cities and villages, teaching, and journeying toward Jerusalem. Then said one unto him, Lord, are there few that be saved? And he said unto them, Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. When once the master of the house is risen up, and hath shut to the door, and ye begin to stand without, and to knock at the door, saying, Lord, Lord, open unto us; and he shall answer and say unto you, I know you not whence ye are: Then shall ye begin to say, We have eaten and drunk in thy presence, and thou hast taught in our streets. But he shall say, I tell you, I know you not whence ye are; depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity. There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when ye shall see Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and all the prophets, in the kingdom of God, and you yourselves thrust out. And they shall come from the east, and from the west, and from the north, and from the south, and shall sit down in the kingdom of God. And, behold, there are last which shall be first, and there are first which shall be last.

Our Lord’s hearers wanted to know, “…are there few that be saved?” He refused to answer Yes or No, as if to say, “Numbers and percentages of other people being saved are not the point.” Instead He told them to pay attention to their own salvation: “…Strive to enter in at the strait [=narrow] gate.” What is the narrow gate? Since we desire to be saved, obviously this is an all-important question.

We may think of the narrow gate in terms of our outer and inner life. In our outer life, the narrow gate is the way of life created by unwavering adherence to the True Faith and by unceasing attempts to live the Way demanded by the Truth, characterized by constant struggles that sometimes bring victories and sometimes bring defeats followed by repentance and renewed struggle. This unremitting warfare must last until death. By the grace of God and His mercy, if we remain on this path we will have a firm hope of our salvation.

Our present circumstances are actually quite favorable to this narrow gate approach to life, because, given what is going on around us, we will find that simply in virtue of not giving up our Faith and not giving up the struggle to live according to the Faith, we will be placed among “the few.” We have to remember that fewer and fewer people – both Orthodox and non-Orthodox – are likely to understand us, and that this does not tell us that we are doing anything wrong, but rather the opposite. They will go their way, and we must go ours.   We must ask the Lord constantly for the humility to accept this and in simplicity of faith to persevere on the path laid out before us without condemning anyone else or being curious about their ultimate fate compared to ours. This quiet life of faithfulness in the midst of spiritual loneliness is our narrow gate.

This brings us to the subject of our inner life. St. Theophylact comments on the protest of the damned, “…and Thou hast taught in our streets,” as follows: “Observe that it is those whom the Lord taught in the streets, that is, who only received the Lord’s teaching in public, who are rejected. But if we receive His teaching, not just in public, but also within the closeness of our contrite and compunctionate heart, then we will not be rejected” (The Explanation of the Holy Gospel According to Luke, c. 13, vss. 23-30).” Here St. Theophylact is not addressing the subject of those who are formally outside the Church but rather of those who “officially” are inside, whether, as in Our Lord’s time, inside the Old Testament Church or, as in St. Theophylact’s (and our) time, inside the New Testament Church. In other words, being a nominal Christian, or even being a regular churchgoer who nevertheless does not have an inner life of prayer, does not save.  We must cherish the Lord’s teaching “within the closeness of our contrite and compunctionate heart,” and if we do, then… rejoice! – “…we will not be rejected.”

These two aspects of the Life in Christ – the outer and inner – are intimately joined.   By striving to remain outwardly faithful, we will invite rejection from the world. The ensuing loneliness will drive us either into giving up entirely or into a more intense inner life of prayer. Which way we go is up to us, but that we will go one way or the other is not in doubt.

One piece of good news is that there is more Orthodox literature about the inner life available to us than ever before. In the midst of the cataclysmic destruction of Christian civilization over the past 100 years, there has yet, by God’s loving Providence, been a rebirth of interest precisely in the spiritual life, manifested by an explosion of new editions and translations of the Church services and of spiritual books, as well as the movement to return to traditional iconography and chant.  It is as if the Lord is saying, “I have given you a tough job, living in these times, but I am giving you some good tools to deal with it.”   There are in fact so many of these tools that the difficulty lies in choosing which ones to use. I cannot recommend precisely or comprehensively which of these spiritual tools to choose for each of you reading this; you will have to work with your father confessor on that.   There are basics, of course: the Scriptures and Lives of the Saints, the prayer book, the service books, the prayer rope, and articles and books about the spiritual life intended for beginners. Ask the Lord to show you the way. Prayer teaches itself.

Let us then take heart. The Lord desires our salvation, far more than we do ourselves.   He does not require from us miracles but rather “…to receive His teaching, not just in public but also within the closeness of our contrite and compunctionate heart.”   This each of us can do and by so doing acquire a firm hope of our salvation.

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Friday of the 12th Week of Luke

In today’s Gospel, we read that Satan entered into Judas, and he decided to betray the Lord Jesus Christ:  

At that time Jesus was teaching in the temple; and at night he went out, and abode in the mount that is called the mount of Olives. And all the people came early in the morning to him in the temple, for to hear him.  Now the feast of unleavened bread drew nigh, which is called the Passover. And the chief priests and scribes sought how they might kill him; for they feared the people.  Then entered Satan into Judas surnamed Iscariot, being of the number of the twelve. And he went his way, and communed with the chief priests and captains, how he might betray him unto them.  And they were glad, and covenanted to give him money.  And he promised, and sought opportunity to betray him unto them in the absence of the multitude.  Then came the day of unleavened bread, when the passover must be killed.  And he sent Peter and John, saying, Go and prepare us the passover, that we may eat. – Luke 21:37-22:8

St. Theophan the Recluse, in commenting on Judas’s betrayal, teaches us how not to become Judases ourselves:  we must watch constantly over the door of the mind and heart, and consistently repel bad thoughts:  

Satan entered into Judas, and taught him how to betray the Lord; he agreed, and betrayed Him. Satan entered because the door had been opened for him.  What is within us is always closed; the Lord Himself stands outside and knocks, that we might open it. What causes it to open? Sympathy, predisposition, and agreement.  If all of this is inclined in the direction of Satan, he enters.  If, on the contrary, it is inclined toward the Lord, then the Lord enters. If Satan enters, and not the Lord, the person himself is guilty.  If you do not allow thoughts pleasing to Satan, if you do not sympathize with them, or dispose yourself to their suggestions and agree to do them, Satan will come near, and then leave.  After all, he is not given authority over anyone. If he takes possession of anyone, it is because that person gives himself over in slavery to him.  The source of all evil is in one’s thoughts.  Do not allow bad thoughts, and you will forever close the door of your soul to Satan.  That bad thoughts come – what can you do?  No one in the world is without them, and there is no sin here.  Chase them away, and that will end everything.  If they come again, chase them away again – and so on for your entire life.  When you accept thoughts and become engaged in them, it is not surprising that sympathy for them appears as well; then they become even more persistent. After sympathy come bad intentions for some sort of bad deeds. Vague intentions define themselves later by an inclination toward one thing or another. Acceptance, agreement, and resoluteness set in, and now sin is within!   The door of the heart is opened wide.  As soon as agreement forms, Satan jumps in and begins to tyrannize.   Then the poor soul, like a slave or a pack animal, is driven and wearied into doing indecent things.  If it had not allowed bad thoughts, nothing of the sort would have happened.  – Thoughts for Each Day of the Year, pp. 275-276.   

We imagine the great events in history as dramas played out by people we have never met on a vast stage outside of ourselves:  Bloody battles, fateful decisions by famous rulers, stock market crashes, royal marriages and divorces, civil wars and revolutions, political assassinations, scientific discoveries, leaps in technology, and so forth.  Here, however, in today’s Gospel, we see that what is beyond measure the greatest event in history, whose effect on us eclipses that of all other events combined, from the beginning to the end of the world – that is, the world-saving, infinite Sacrifice of the God-Man for our salvation – comes about, on the human level, when an obscure and finite man gives in to a bad thought.   God, of course, turns this finite evil to infinite good in His divine Providence.   But, in the words of Christ Himself, it had been better for Judas had he never been born.  He has destroyed himself by allowing one evil thought – the envy of the goodness of Jesus – to capture his mind and darken his heart.  

St. Theophan provides a short primer on guarding ourselves from doing what Judas did.  He describes the stages of sin:  First, there is the thought, which is involuntary and is not a sin.  Sin ensues and gradually worsens when we engage the thought, then sympathize with it, then agree with it, and then do what the thought suggests.  Finally, one who keeps doing this becomes enslaved to evil habit and becomes helpless to resist temptation altogether, which is a foretaste of hell.  

What must we do to avoid this terrible fate?  Very simple:  as St. Theophan says, “Do not allow bad thoughts, and you will forever close the door of your soul to Satan.”   The real Christian life entails continuous warfare within the mind to resist every evil thought, even the slightest.  The Orthodox Church teaches its children how to do this, and the grace in the Church gives them the power so to do.   All the writings of the saints on the ascetic life keep getting back to this central point:  resist evil thoughts!   Keep your heart pure!   Do not sin for one moment even by engaging an evil thought to dispute with it; just drive it away.    

We cannot, of course, do this on our own; it is humanly impossible.   Only by the grace of Jesus Christ, and the power of His holy name, can we drive away the enemies at the gates ever fighting against us.   If we repeat His holy name – the name of Jesus – continually, and cry out to Him for aid, admitting our powerlessness, He will come and abide in us, and He will save us.  The soul that has Christ within will not fear death, and at the hour of death will joyfully leave the body and fly unhindered to its beloved Lord.   Here is what St. Hesychius of Jerusalem says:  

When after death the soul soars into the air to the gates of heaven, it will not be shamed by its enemies even there, if it has Christ with it and for it; but then, as now, it will boldly “speak with the enemies in the gate.”  So long as it does not grow weary of calling to Our Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, day and night till death itself, He will avenge it speedily, according to His true promise, given in the parable of the unjust judge: “I tell you that he will avenge them speedily” (Luke 18: 8) – both in this life and after leaving the body. – Texts on Sobriety and Prayer, No. 149, by St. Hesychius of Jerusalem. 

The door of the heart and the door of Paradise are the same door.  Our enemies wait at the gate of the heart to enter in, in this life, as they will wait at the gate of heaven, in the next life, to prevent our entry there.    Let us resolve never to abandon the Jesus Prayer, to make time daily for the Prayer at set times, even for a few minutes a day, when we are alone, and then to carry it with us through the day.   The holy name of Jesus has infinite, divine power, because it is the human name of the Incarnate God, and it conveys to us all the grace of God.  It cannot fail. 

“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” – Romans 10:13

Saturday of the 11th Week of Luke

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In the Gospel reading for today, our Lord commands us to be vigilant, preparing for the Judgment:

The Lord said to His disciples: Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Let your loins be girded about, and your lights burning; And ye yourselves like unto men that wait for their lord, when he will return from the wedding; that when he cometh and knocketh, they may open unto him immediately. Blessed are those servants, whom the lord when he cometh shall find watching: verily I say unto you, that he shall gird himself, and make them to sit down to meat, and will come forth and serve them. And if he shall come in the second watch, or come in the third watch, and find them so,blessed are those servants. And this know, that if the goodman of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched, and not have suffered his house to be broken through. Be ye therefore ready also: for the Son of man cometh at an hour when ye think not. – St. Luke 12:32-40

These words ring clear in this present season of Advent, the Nativity Fast, for as we prepare to celebrate the First Advent of God in the Flesh, we recall his great and terrible Second Advent as well, when He shall come to judge the living and the dead. To encourage our practical spiritual efforts, St. Theophan the Recluse relates these words of Christ also to the Advent of the Lord each of us will encounter at the hour of death:

We must be ready at every hour – one does not know when the Lord will come, either for the Last Judgment or to take you from here; for you they are the same. Death decides everything. After death comes the result of your life; whatever you’ve acquired, you’ll have to be satisfied with for all eternity. If you have acquired what is good, your lot will be good; if you have acquired what is evil, then your lot will be evil. This is as true as the fact that you exist. All of this could be decided this moment – here at this very moment, as you read these lines – and then, the end of everything; a seal will be set to your existence, which no one can remove. This is something to think about! But one cannot be sufficiently amazed at how little people think about it. What is this mystery which is wrought upon us? We all know that death will come at any moment, that it is impossible to escape it, but meanwhile almost no one at all thinks about it – and it will come suddenly and seize us. Even then – even when a fatal disease seizes a person, he still does not think that the end has come. Let psychologists resolve this from a scientific aspect; from the moral aspect it is impossible not to see here an incomprehensible self-delusion, alien only to one who is heedful of himself.   – Thoughts for Each Day of the Year, pp . 270-271

Incomprehensible self-delusion – that’s it!   Where does it come from, and what can we do about it?

Our blindness to death comes from two places – the inside and the outside of us.   On the inside, despite the grace of baptism, the power of whose grace we do not activate enough by struggling against sin, our fallen nature denies the reality of death. This blindness is instinctive, unconscious, and we are all born with it. It comes from two sources, one natural and one unnatural.   The natural source is the memory of immortality that resides in the human heart since Paradise. We have inherited this psychosomatically from our First Parents, and there is nothing we can do about it. Actually, in itself it is a good thing: It gives empirical proof that man was created for eternal life.  Then there is the unnatural and sinful source of the blindness to death: the inherited Ancestral Sin that we are all born with, which carries the damage to the heart caused by our First Parents’ accepting the lie, “You shall be as gods.” I do not think I am going to die, because I think that I am God, that I am the source of my own life. All of my problems come from this.

The external causes of our blindness to death are illusion and distraction.   

Because of the material comfort provided by  contemporary technological cleverness, we cherish the illusion that suffering and death are abnormal and avoidable. We think it normal to live in an insulated, cosseted environment in which physical problems usually do not rise above the level of discomfort and inconvenience. Even when we do become dangerously ill, we are prone not to ponder soberly on death and God’s judgment, on the shortness of this life and the vanity of all things here below, but rather to cast about frantically for a technological cure, so that we can eke out a few more years of a doomed biological existence devoted obdurately to seeking comfort in illusions. 

Because of the frenzied environment created by the demands of work or school, interrupted only by frenzied bouts of distraction from social and entertainment media, we are constantly distracted and agitated.   This world seems to be all there is, because it demands our attention at every waking hour. It won’t go away. We are little rats running on a wheel, and we are not allowed to get off, or so it seems.

How do we get off the wheel, calm down, face reality, and prepare for death?   The key moment comes when we have a break from our duties, and we make the choice either to distract and entertain ourselves or to do spiritual work: spiritual reading, prayer, preparation for confession, and the various activities of spiritual life.   Every one of these moments is a moment of crisis, in the original meaning of the word: not simply an emergency, but an emergency characterized by judgment. It is a moment of judgment – we are being judged at that very moment by the choice that we make.   The course of one day usually presents at least one or two such moments that are free of pressing duties: thus the course of a lifetime presents thousands.  The final result of the choices we make at these moments is what St. Theophan refers to above: “After death comes the result of your life; whatever you’ve acquired, you’ll have to be satisfied with for all eternity.” Now we know that we can take nothing from this world with us, except our soul. “What we have acquired” is virtue or vice, grace or separation from God, holiness or sinfulness. It is up to us.

Life is short, death is certain, judgment is eternal. Let us wisely use the free moments given us by the All-Merciful God, Who desires our salvation infinitely more than we do, and Who is waiting with invincible love to give us spiritual gifts, so that He may find us watching when He comes.

Friday of the 11th Week of Luke 

Today’s reading from the Holy Gospel is Luke 20: 19 – 26 

At that time: The chief priests and the scribes the same hour sought to lay hands on him; and they feared the people: for they perceived that he had spoken this parable against them.  And they watched him, and sent forth spies, which should feign themselves just men, that they might take hold of his words, that so they might deliver him unto the power and authority of the governor. And they asked him, saying, Master, we know that thou sayest and teachest rightly, neither acceptest thou the person of any, but teachest the way of God truly: Is it lawful for us to give tribute unto Caesar, or no? But he perceived their craftiness, and said unto them, Why tempt ye me? Shew me a penny. Whose image and superscription hath it? They answered and said, Caesar’s. And he said unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar’s, and unto God the things which be God’s. And they could not take hold of his words before the people: and they marvelled at his answer, and held their peace.

The commentary by St. Theophan the Recluse on this passage might be summarized by the old saying that people get the rulers they deserve:  

“Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar’s, and unto God the things which be God’s.”  This means that each gets what is his own. In our times, instead of “the things which be Caesar’s” we should say, “the things which are earthly.” Also, earthly things have their turn, while Godly things have theirs. But everyone has rushed toward earthly things alone, and they leave the Godly things behind. That is why Godly things not only are left out of their proper place—that is, the first priority—but are completely forgotten. A consequence of this as if unintentional forgetfulness is that the Godly is darkened over in one’s consciousness, and then both its content and foundation become unclear. From this come weakness of conviction and unsteadiness of faith; and then alienation from faith, and influence of the winds of various of teachings. Everyone goes down this path when they begin to be careless about Godly things; society takes this path when it begins to ignore what God requires of it. When Godly things are left in the background, then emancipation from Godly requirements begins to set into society, in the intellectual, moral and aesthetic sense. Secularization (serving the spirit of the time) occurs of politics, customs, entertainment, and then of education and all institutions. At the current time, people do not think, speak, write or even keep Godly things in mind—not in any of their undertakings. Is it surprising, given such a mood, that teachings contrary to the faith find access to society and that society is inclined toward total unbelief? – Thoughts for Each Day of the Year, pp. 269-270 

In today’s fevered political atmosphere, when Orthodox Christians are trying urgently to understand the nature of the civil authority under which we now live and how to respond to its demands, St. Theophan’s substitution of “things which are earthly” for “the things which be Caesar’s” might strike one as a refusal to deal with the practical questions of Church-state relations and the moral obligations of a Christian under an anti-Christian political regime.   Of course, we must struggle with such questions, and we have to find at least provisional answers sufficient to satisfy the conscience and strengthen our moral wills to face whatever is to come.   St. Theophan’s purpose, however, is not to avoid these questions, but to call us to examine ourselves in order to understand how we got into this mess to begin with.  He is calling us to repentance. 

The Lord is coming, and He will judge.  And truly, as St. Peter teaches, the Lord’s judgment will begin not with the outsiders – the neopagans, the globalists, the vulture capitalists, the communists, the Zionists, the Illuminati, whoever – but with us:  

Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified. But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men’s matters. Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf. For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear? Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator. – I Peter 4: 12 – 19 

St. Theophan’s lesson for us today is this: It is the worldliness of Christians that paved the way for the great apostasy we see today, of which the Antichrist nature of contemporary governance is simply a natural concomitant.  We must uproot that worldliness in our own lives and return to the Orthodox way of life, to the path of salvation.  St. Peter’s lesson for us, in conjunction with St. Theophan’s lesson, is that we should not waste time speculating about the moral state or the future judgment of outsiders, but rather repent for our own sins, obey God’s commandments, and be willing to suffer for doing so.   Judgment must begin at the house of God, that is, the Church.  

If we shall only return to a completely Scriptural and patristic worldview, and then live according to that view, in repentance, the Lord will send His holy angels to make an invisible wall around us, and we will find spiritual safety in the trials that are to come, as well as that amount of physical safety the Lord deems needed for our salvation, while He also promises us His invincible help when physical suffering is demanded. 

If, however, we cling to anti-Christian assumptions as the foundation of our worldview, we will perish.    These assumptions include the lies of feminism, Darwinism, and scientism:  Those who refuse to base male-female relations and family life on Biblical patriarchy will not be saved.  Those who believe in and teach modernist theological lies like a purely symbolic interpretation of the opening chapters of Genesis and “theistic evolution” will not be saved.   Those who idolize the so-called scientific establishment and believe in it as an infallible oracle will not be saved.  You cannot live a life of repentance, or lead others to such a life, if you accept such fundamental lies into your heart as your framework for viewing reality. 

And even those who repent of the lies of modernism and insist on a radically traditional worldview can be lost through the love of money, distraction in entertainments, sexual and drug addiction, and all the other lures of the world, the flesh, and the devil.   The pride engendered by being right on the issues can make one blind to being wrong about his own behavior.   We must have both orthodoxy and orthopraxis.   We must live in humility.   There is no other way.  

Let us, then, carefully limit the time we spend watching and reading and thinking about what “they” are doing to us, and consistently spend a lot more time on uprooting in ourselves the worldliness that has made “their” dominion possible.   Judgment will begin at the house of God.  

Wednesday of the 11th Week of St. Luke

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Today’s daily Gospel reading is Luke 20: 1-8

At that time, as Jesus taught the people in the temple, and preached the gospel, the chief priests and the scribes came upon him with the elders, And spake unto him, saying, Tell us, by what authority doest thou these things? or who is he that gave thee this authority? And he answered and said unto them, I will also ask you one thing; and answer me: The baptism of John, was it from heaven, or of men? And they reasoned with themselves, saying, If we shall say, From heaven; he will say, Why then believed ye him not? But and if we say, Of men; all the people will stone us: for they be persuaded that John was a prophet. And they answered, that they could not tell whence it was. And Jesus said unto them, Neither tell I you by what authority I do these things.

Of course, these questioners – the chief priests, scribes, and elders – were not asking Our Lord this question because they sincerely sought the truth. Their minds were made up, and they were simply trying to trick Him.   Their minds were poniro, as we say in Greek – sneaky, twisted, and evil-intended – and they could not think straight or see straight or talk straight. For them, language was a tool to get power over others, not a holy medium of heart to heart communication.   St. Theophan the Recluse comments on this encounter to illustrate the difference between the mind of Faith, which is also the deep and reasonable mind, and the mind of hardened unbelief, which is superficial and unreasoning:

The priests, scribes, and elders did not believe in the Lord. In order to raise them up to faith, He offered them a question: “The baptism of John, was it from heaven, or of men?” Consider this without bias, and your reasoning will bring you to faith. What is said about John’s appearing can be said about every event accompanying the Lord’s advent in the flesh, and about His very advent, and all that comes into contact with it. Let each person consider all of this, and the conclusion will be the same: “Truly this was the Son of God (Matt. 27:54).” Various thoughts can come, confusion can arise, what seem like incongruities can be encountered; but at the end of all investigations one universal conviction will result: that it is impossible to think any other way than as is shown in the Gospels and apostolic writings. “Great is the mystery of godliness: God is manifest in the flesh (I Timothy 3:16).” This remains a mystery, but if the mind compels itself by a spiritual need to investigate it, then this mystery will become clear to the mind – and it will confess this way, and in no other way. Unbelievers either do not investigate it at all as they ought to, or they investigate it superficially, with a mind alien to it, or they take on a miserable state of mind that is opposed to what is required by the Faith. To justify their unbelief, they are satisfied with the most insignificant trifle to refute the Faith. The words of unbelievers shake believers, who, being satisfied with simple faith, do not seek clarification of the foundations of the Faith. Those words take them unawares, and hence they are shaken. – Thoughts for Each Day of the Year, p. 268

Why are we sometimes shaken by the specious (i.e., seemingly valid but actually worthless) arguments of the faithless? It may be that we have not studied our Faith enough, but that by itself is easily remedied – the books are all out there, and we have only to immerse ourselves in the tremendous wisdom and insight of the Church expressed by Her various exponents, in order to see how the Orthodox Faith is far and away the most satisfying explanation to life’s puzzle.   The underlying problem is not lack of knowledge but the lack of godly confidence caused by a passion we all suffer from, which is vanity.

This may be surprising to some people, for they often mistake timidity for humility, and imagine that if they are mealy-mouthed this shows that they are not vain. But what is humility? It is not groveling and acting like the doormat of the human race. True humility is knowing Who God is, who you are, and what life is really about. It is accurate knowledge of reality, that’s all.   If you know white is white and black is black, it is not humble to say that white is black, just because that will stroke someone else’s ego. On the contrary, it is extremely vain and proud, because it means that you think you have permission to overturn reality in order to luxuriate in the good feelings of some other finite creature. It is playing God.

A truly humble person is courageous.   Since he knows that God in His Providence is taking care of him, that nothing can be done to him that will defeat God’s plan for his salvation, he is not afraid of those who attack his Faith or of what they will do to him if he does not go along with them.

A truly humble person is confident in the truth.   Even if he does not understand every detail, even if he cannot answer every specific objection to his Faith, he knows that the Big Picture of Orthodoxy is as good as it gets, insofar as having a worldview, an understanding of what life is all about. If there is some little thing that has not been explained completely, he trusts that it is explainable to the extent he truly needs it to be, and with prayer and trust he seeks to grow in the knowledge of his Faith.

A truly humble person is meek. He does not have to snarl at someone who raises objections to his faith; he does not have to bite.   With the calmness and courage born of heartfelt certainty, he can serenely and patiently ward off the powerless arrows of false objections, even when his critic is unkind to him personally.

A truly humble person is compassionate. When he sees the unbelief of the other person, he says, “There but for the grace of God go I.” Having accurate self-knowledge, he knows the capacity of his own heart for self-deception, and therefore he recoils from condemning another person who has the same problem. With true sympathy, he wants this person in front of him to be delivered from deception, for he wants what God wants, and God is He “… Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth (I Timothy 2:4).”

Let us immerse ourselves in the treasures of our precious Faith’s priceless theology, pray for more accurate self-knowledge, and beg the Lord to save our neighbors who labor so painfully in the darkness of unbelief!

Thursday of the 10th Week of St. Luke

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Today’s daily Gospel reading is Luke 18: 31-34

At that time, Jesus took unto him the twelve, and said unto them, Behold, we go up to Jerusalem, and all things that are written by the prophets concerning the Son of man shall be accomplished. For he shall be delivered unto the Gentiles, and shall be mocked, and spitefully entreated, and spitted on: And they shall scourge him, and put him to death: and the third day he shall rise again. And they understood none of these things: and this saying was hid from them, neither knew they the things which were spoken.

Here is something we see at various times in the Gospel: Our Lord’s most intimate followers often did not understand about the most important things, the central mysteries of the Gospel teaching. Only after His Resurrection and Ascension, and after they had received the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, were their eyes opened to receive the light of the great mysteries of the Lord’s economy for man’s salvation. St. Theophan the Recluse relates this experience of the apostles to our own spiritual life:

The Lord told the disciples about His suffering, but they did not comprehend anything He said: “This saying was hid from them.” Later, the faithful “…determined not to know anything except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified (I Corinthians 2:2).” Before the time came, they did not understand any of this mystery; but when the time came, they understood, and taught everyone, and explained it to everyone. This happens to everyone, not only with regard to this mystery, but to all the other mysteries as well. What is not understood in the beginning becomes understood with time; it is as if a ray of light enters the consciousness and brightens what was formerly dark. Who is it that elucidates it? The Lord Himself, the grace that lives in the faithful, or one’s guardian angel – but in no way is it the person himself. He is the recipient, not the cause. On the other hand, something else might remain incomprehensible for one’s whole life – not only for individuals, but for all of humanity. Man is surrounded by things he does not understand. Some are cleared up over the course of his life, while other are left until the next life – they will be seen then.   This applies even to minds enlightened by God. Why are things not revealed here? Because some things are incomprehensible, so there is no point in talking about them. Others are not proclaimed out of considerations for health – that is, it would be harmful to know about them prematurely. Much will become clear in the next life, but other subjects and other mysteries will also be discovered then. A created mind will never escape inscrutable mysteries. The mind rebels against these bonds, but whether you rebel or not, you cannot sever the bonds of mystery. Humble yourself, proud mind, beneath the mighty hand of God – and believe!

– from Thoughts for Each Day of the Year, pp. 263-264

God gave us a mind, and we naturally want to figure things out – this is understandable.   But we have to remember that our minds are both limited, because we are finite creatures, and, moreover, damaged, for, even after Holy Baptism, we still struggle with the effects of the Ancestral Sin upon our nature, though it does not have final power over us.   Thus we cannot understand even created things, much less God, without God’s illumination, which comes, as St. Theophan explains, either directly from His Holy Spirit or through the inspiration of our Guardian Angel.   We have to ask for this illumination constantly, both in order to receive this help, and also in order to come into a right relationship between God and ourselves as rational but limited creatures.   Nothing is worse than a proud mind; nothing prevents us so effectively as this from being saved. This is especially true when the mind is proud about religious matters, when somebody thinks he “knows it all” and refuses to be taught – this is the worst! An un-teachable person, no matter how outwardly pious, is incapable of effectual repentance: the harder he tries to perform the deeds of religion, the worse he gets!

The thought of all this should humble us and sober us up.   Every day we should ask Our Lord to enlighten us a little more, to reveal to us a little more what we need to know for our salvation, and especially to give us a little more self-understanding, which is the hardest thing of all. St. Isaac the Syrian says somewhere that it is a greater miracle to see your own sins than to raise the dead. Never was a truer word spoken!   We want to understand all kinds of mysterious things – how God could have created all things in six days, how Jesus could have risen from the dead, how some people are saved and others are not, when will be the end of the world, etc. – but we cannot understand even our own most elementary faults, and our own hearts are to us a closed book!

When I am in need of enlightenment, I like to recall the Spiritual Testament of the Elder Gabriel of the Kazan-Seven Lakes and the Pskov-Eleazar Monasteries, who reposed in 1915. This testament was his final word to his spiritual children, composed shortly before his repose:

Soon, perhaps, I will die. I leave you an inheritance of great and inexhaustible riches. There is enough for everyone, only they must make profitable use of it and not doubt. Whosoever will be wise enough to make use of this inheritance will live without want.

First: when someone feels himself to be a sinner and can find no way out, let him shut himself alone in his cell and read the Canon and Akathist to Sweetest Jesus Christ, and his tears will be a comforting remedy for him.

Second: when someone finds himself amid misfortunes of any kind whatsoever, let him read the Supplicatory Canon to the Mother of God, “Distressed by Many Temptations,” and all his misfortunes will pass unnoticed from him to the shame of those who assailed him.

Third: when someone needs inner illumination of soul, let him read the 17th Kathisma [Psalm 118 LXX] with attention, and his inner eyes will be opened. The realization of what is written in it will follow. The need to cleanse the conscience more frequently in Confession and to communicate of the Holy Mysteries of the Body and Blood of Christ will arise. The virtue of compassion for others will be manifest, so that we will not scorn them but rather suffer and pray for them. Then, inward fear of God will appear, in which will be revealed to the inner eye of the soul the accomplishments of the Savior – how He suffered for us and loved us. Grace-filled love for Him will appear with the power of the Holy Spirit, Who instructs us in every ascetic labor and teaches us how to accomplish His will for us and to endure. In our patience, we will perceive and sense in ourselves the coming of the Kingdom of God in His power, and we will reign together with the Lord and become holy.

This world will not appear to us then the same as it appears to us now; however, we will not stand in judgment, but Jesus Christ will judge. We will see the falsity and sin in the world, but only through the Savior’s eyes, and we will partake of truth in Him alone.

Falsehood! We see it and yet we do not. This world with all its deceptions will pass away never to return, for it is a lie. Christ’s truth shall endure unto the ages of ages. Amen.

– from The Love of God, the Life and Teachings of St. Gabriel of the Seven Lakes Monastery, by New Hieromartyr Symeon (Kholmogorov), St. Herman Press 2016. pp. 233-234

Monday of the 10th Week of Luke 

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Today’s Gospel reading is Luke 17: 20 – 25

At that time, when Jesus was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation: Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you. And he said unto the disciples, The days will come, when ye shall desire to see one of the days of the Son of man, and ye shall not see it. And they shall say to you, See here; or, see there: go not after them, nor follow them. For as the lightning, that lighteneth out of the one part under heaven, shineth unto the other part under heaven; so shall also the Son of man be in his day. But first must he suffer many things, and be rejected of this generation.

St. Theophan the Recluse reminds us that we must follow Our Lord in His suffering and be rejected by our own generation, if we hope to inherit the Kingdom of God:  

Having said that the Son of Man will appear in his day like lightning, instantly illuminating everything under heaven, the Lord added: But first must He suffer many things, and be rejected of this generation. The word order here makes it apparent that this “must suffer” should precede the Lord’s appearance in glory. Thus, the whole time until that day is the time of the Lord’s suffering. He suffered in His person at one known time; after that His sufferings continue in believers—suffering as they are born, their upbringing in the spirit and protection from actions of the enemy, both inner and outer—for the Lord’s union with His own is not just mental or moral, but living. Everything that touches them is accepted by Him as well, as the head. Therefore, it is impossible not to see that the Lord indeed suffers much. The most painful sorrows are the falls of believers; even more painful for Him is when they fall away from the faith. But these are the final wounds; as continuously wounding arrows are the sorrows, temptations, and wavering faith of unbelief. Words and writings that exude unbelief are kindled arrows of the evil one. Nowadays, the evil one has led many blacksmiths to forge such arrows. The hearts of believers ache when they are struck by them and see others being struck. The Lord aches too. But the day of the Lord’s glory will appear—then all the secret darkness will be revealed, and those who have suffered will rejoice with the Lord. Until that time we must endure and pray. – Thoughts for Each Day of the Year, pp. 260-261

Many indeed have fallen away and will fall away before the Lord’s glory appears at the end of time.   How do we avoid falling ourselves?   We are so weak, and we have seen many others who, we thought, were stronger, smarter, and more religious than ourselves, wandering off the path of salvation gradually into delusion or leaping off the cliff suddenly into total apostasy, and we begin to think that their fate must come inevitably upon ourselves also; after all, we are not as good as they, much less better.  And, as St. Theophan says, our hearts ache when struck by the arrows of the temptation to unbelief.   They ache both with sorrow over those who have fallen, and they ache with the pain of our own loneliness and self-doubt in the midst of so much mental warfare against us, waged both visibly by the world and invisibly by the demons.   

Apologetic arguments for Orthodoxy are certainly available to us, and we should have constant recourse to study, preferably before being tempted and certainly when suffering in the midst of temptation.   But what is equally important to study, or, rather, forms an absolute pre-condition for fruitful study, is heartfelt love for Christ and loyalty to His Person, as our Creator, Redeemer, and Friend, as the Bridegroom of our souls.  He is the best Friend we have ever had or ever can have; yet we treat Him so often as an abstraction, an article of belief required of me if I am to maintain a worldview I am currently comfortable with but which is open to revision if I find something more psychologically satisfying.   He becomes a currently necessary intellectual support for my current choices instead of the Master of my life.  

So when we are struck by the arrows of wavering faith, the first step is not to open a book of apologetic theology, but to renew our loyalty to the Lord.   We need to get down on our knees, open the Prayer Book to the Akathist to Our Lord Jesus Christ, and say it aloud, slowly, with a great struggle for attention.  We need to open the Gospel and read it aloud, slowly, with a great struggle for attention, not seeking specific articulated solutions to imagined conundrums but seeking rather the conversion of our hearts to being wounded with love for the Man depicted therein.  

Only after such a softening of the heart, only after compunction has wounded our souls with the life-creating wound of joy-giving sorrow for our sins, that replaces the deadly wound of gloom and confusion caused by wavering faith – only then should we engage in intellectual study and the examination of arguments for and against this and that. Otherwise we shall wander all our lives long in the labyrinth of the fallen reason as it chews on itself, cannibalizing its inner resources until the hour of death comes, and its self-chosen auto-demolition is revealed in all its horror at the gate of hell.  

O dearest Lord, Who suffered all things for us, come to us in this holy season and grant us the insatiable longing for Thy presence in our hearts!   O Lord Thou Sun of Righteousness, enlighten our darkness in the midst of this present world of confusion.  Make our minds clear, our wills firm, and our hearts warm with Thy love.  Amen.